Love & Logic is my favorite methodology for raising healthy kiddos! They send out an emailer that has awesome tips to keep us reminded of those good parenting (and teaching) skills. Go to their website to sign up - its FREE! www.loveandlogic.com
This week's email is on shaping self-concept and I have posted it here:
Shaping Self-Concept, one of our most popular audios, teaches a very special type of love. It's the type that allows our kids to struggle... lets them work thruough their trials...and guides them toward independence instead of insecurity.
This love can be expressed daily by:
Allowing kids to wrestle with tying their shoes...instead of automatically jumping in and doing it for them.
Letting them dress themselves...even if the clothes they choose don't match.
Teaching them how to talk to their teachers about problems at school...rather than always doing it for them.
Expecting that they speak up and order meals for themselves...instead of ordering for them.
Having them call the insurance company and arrange for their own car insurance...instead of doing it all for them.
Letting them do most of the work required to fill out their college applications...rather than preparing all of the paperwork for them.
Remembering that the more things they learn to do for themselves, the stronger and more confident they will become!
Isn't it ironic that our kids have to face some tough times in order to live confident, joyful lives?
Dr. Charles Fay
Love & Logic Institute
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
Welcome to a new year! I have neglected the blog and I was inspired by Anh Cao to make a commitment to keeping it updated. She is one of my favorite teachers, always looking at ways to improve her craft (and she shares that energy with everyone around her!)
We kicked off this school year with lots of changes, we have a new Principal and a new Assistant Principal and we are excited about all of the new possibilities.
The Character word for September is Responsibility. Students will be talking about what it means to be responsible and at the end of this month, each teacher will nominate one student from their class to have lunch with me in the great hall.
I will be in Kindergarten and First grade classrooms once a week for 5 weeks starting September 19. In Kinder we will be naming feelings and identifying facial expressions. In First grade we will start with Kelso's Choice - Conflict Management for Children.
Summitt was named a No Place For Hate school last year and we are going for it again! All students are asked to sign the Resolution of Respect and we will be rolling out our first school wide intervention at the end of September - more information to come!
I will be presenting Love & Logic at PTA meetings - so be ready for some fun!
Its going to be a great school year!
Cheers!
We kicked off this school year with lots of changes, we have a new Principal and a new Assistant Principal and we are excited about all of the new possibilities.
The Character word for September is Responsibility. Students will be talking about what it means to be responsible and at the end of this month, each teacher will nominate one student from their class to have lunch with me in the great hall.
I will be in Kindergarten and First grade classrooms once a week for 5 weeks starting September 19. In Kinder we will be naming feelings and identifying facial expressions. In First grade we will start with Kelso's Choice - Conflict Management for Children.
Summitt was named a No Place For Hate school last year and we are going for it again! All students are asked to sign the Resolution of Respect and we will be rolling out our first school wide intervention at the end of September - more information to come!
I will be presenting Love & Logic at PTA meetings - so be ready for some fun!
Its going to be a great school year!
Cheers!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Wrapping up another wonderful School year!
My very good friend, Judy Stubblefield, said "A parents greatest fear is that our child will make a choice that will alter their life forever". Her words are ringing in my ears as I think about going into summer.
Please. Insist on wearing a helmet while riding a bike, skateboard, scooter, motorcycle..... Our community is still in pain over the death of a 16 year old boy who "made a choice that altered his life forever". He was not wearing a helmet while skateboarding.
Stay safe and have a Wonderful summer break.
Peace.
Please. Insist on wearing a helmet while riding a bike, skateboard, scooter, motorcycle..... Our community is still in pain over the death of a 16 year old boy who "made a choice that altered his life forever". He was not wearing a helmet while skateboarding.
Stay safe and have a Wonderful summer break.
Peace.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Parenting Class
I am gearing up to host the Parenting with Love & Logic class again. I always get so excited about the class, it always feels like great group therapy. The beauty of the class is that I am not the "giver of all knowledge"... all the parents have such a wealth of information to share and it is my honor to be a part of it all.
The following is from the newsletter that goes out from Love & Logic... Enjoy!
ARE YOU SICK AND TIRED OF HAVING TO COMPETE WITH YOUR CHILD'S ELECTRONIC DEVICES?
I know a mother and father who eat a lot of cold food - all thanks to certain electronics corperations and their teen's single-mided obsession with the darn things.
Yes! Nearly every night, these parents beg him to turn off the compter, turn off (or pause) the television, put down the video game controller, or unplug from the music. Their pleas fall on deaf (or earbud filled) ears.
Its not so much that the young man is blatantly defiant. He acknowledges them, at least with a grunt or the universal "just a second." But he's so engrossed in electronics land, that he truly has a hard time ripping his mind away from the device to join the family at the table. Of course, his parents get more and more frustrated as they experience less and less success wooing him from his high-tech goodies. obviously, this trend is not healthy for the young man or for the evening family mean.
Some parents have discovered a magical Love and Logic enforceable statement to help with this type of electronics abuse:
"We provide ______ for kids who _____ . "
+ "we provide computer time for kids who shut it down the first time they are asked."
+ "We provide television time for kids who have chores and homework done."
+ "We provide cell phones for kids who refrain from texting during the sermon at church."
As parents, we do provide these things, don't we? And when is a good time to remind kids of all the things that we provide? In a long-winded lecture when we are frustrated? How about before the item or privilege is abused, or with lots of empathy when it has been removed?
The Key to success with this phrase is our willingness to follow-through and the empathy in our voices, and on our faces, when kids lose the use of the device when it is abused.
The following is from the newsletter that goes out from Love & Logic... Enjoy!
ARE YOU SICK AND TIRED OF HAVING TO COMPETE WITH YOUR CHILD'S ELECTRONIC DEVICES?
I know a mother and father who eat a lot of cold food - all thanks to certain electronics corperations and their teen's single-mided obsession with the darn things.
Yes! Nearly every night, these parents beg him to turn off the compter, turn off (or pause) the television, put down the video game controller, or unplug from the music. Their pleas fall on deaf (or earbud filled) ears.
Its not so much that the young man is blatantly defiant. He acknowledges them, at least with a grunt or the universal "just a second." But he's so engrossed in electronics land, that he truly has a hard time ripping his mind away from the device to join the family at the table. Of course, his parents get more and more frustrated as they experience less and less success wooing him from his high-tech goodies. obviously, this trend is not healthy for the young man or for the evening family mean.
Some parents have discovered a magical Love and Logic enforceable statement to help with this type of electronics abuse:
"We provide ______ for kids who _____ . "
+ "we provide computer time for kids who shut it down the first time they are asked."
+ "We provide television time for kids who have chores and homework done."
+ "We provide cell phones for kids who refrain from texting during the sermon at church."
As parents, we do provide these things, don't we? And when is a good time to remind kids of all the things that we provide? In a long-winded lecture when we are frustrated? How about before the item or privilege is abused, or with lots of empathy when it has been removed?
The Key to success with this phrase is our willingness to follow-through and the empathy in our voices, and on our faces, when kids lose the use of the device when it is abused.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Positive Reinforcement
I hear people say all the time "You should use Positive Reinforcement"... what does that MEAN though?
Are we going to rely on external controls to maintain student behavior, or are we going to orient ourselves toward working with students to develop internalized controls? Do we want to make kids behave, or get them to want to behave?
People are pretty basic....We start doing the correct behavior behavior because there is a payoff for us.
I have a GoldenDoodle named Scout. When we first started training Scout, he wouldnt do a thing without a treat. Now he behaves and follows commands because he wants to be a good boy.
Our kids are not much different than my GoldenDoodle... heck, I'm not much different than my GoldenDoodle! I now, happily, do the Laundry. There is usually a "treat" for me when I take the clothes out of the wash... my husband regularly forgets to empty his pockets and yesterday I found a very clean 10 dollar bill. I wouldnt give us doing the laundry for anything!
The point is... there is a payoff for ALL of our behavior. Scout gets a biscuit or a scratch on his ear, I get a 10 dollar bill. We just have to think about the behaviors we want to encourage, for all I know, my husband is doing it on purpose - his pay off is that he gets his laundry done without any grumbling from me.
Are we going to rely on external controls to maintain student behavior, or are we going to orient ourselves toward working with students to develop internalized controls? Do we want to make kids behave, or get them to want to behave?
People are pretty basic....We start doing the correct behavior behavior because there is a payoff for us.
I have a GoldenDoodle named Scout. When we first started training Scout, he wouldnt do a thing without a treat. Now he behaves and follows commands because he wants to be a good boy.
Our kids are not much different than my GoldenDoodle... heck, I'm not much different than my GoldenDoodle! I now, happily, do the Laundry. There is usually a "treat" for me when I take the clothes out of the wash... my husband regularly forgets to empty his pockets and yesterday I found a very clean 10 dollar bill. I wouldnt give us doing the laundry for anything!
The point is... there is a payoff for ALL of our behavior. Scout gets a biscuit or a scratch on his ear, I get a 10 dollar bill. We just have to think about the behaviors we want to encourage, for all I know, my husband is doing it on purpose - his pay off is that he gets his laundry done without any grumbling from me.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Some Tips for Helping Anxious Kids
I copied the following from the Love & Logic Institute -
Like nearly all of the challenges faced by parents, anxiety in children has many possible causes and solutions. Fortunately, Love and Logic offers a variety of "experiments" to determine what might work best with each unique child:
Establish or strengthen family routines. With anxious, fearful kids, experiments with having set times for meals, bath times, reading, chores, bed times, etc.
Provide firmer limits. There are few things more reassuring to a child than knowing that they have parents who are strong enough to beat-up the Boogie Man if he broke into the house at night. All children wonder if they have parents who are strong enough to keep them safe. One of the ways they find out is to test limits and see if their parents appear weak or very strong.
Give less attention to anxious behavior. Experiment with using fewer words when your child is upset. Simply hug them and say, "I know you can handle this."
Model Calmness and optimism. Our children will rarely be any calmer and more confident than we are.
Avoid reinforcing avoidance behavior. Too frequently we traumatize children more by allowing them to repeatedly avoid healthy activities that can build their sense of security and self-esteem.
Allow your child to be a child. Every year, children are being pushed harder to become stars in academics, athletics, music, etc. This isn't good for kids.
Consider professional help. Because anxiety can have so many different causes, its always wise to get a professional medical opinion.
Like nearly all of the challenges faced by parents, anxiety in children has many possible causes and solutions. Fortunately, Love and Logic offers a variety of "experiments" to determine what might work best with each unique child:
Establish or strengthen family routines. With anxious, fearful kids, experiments with having set times for meals, bath times, reading, chores, bed times, etc.
Provide firmer limits. There are few things more reassuring to a child than knowing that they have parents who are strong enough to beat-up the Boogie Man if he broke into the house at night. All children wonder if they have parents who are strong enough to keep them safe. One of the ways they find out is to test limits and see if their parents appear weak or very strong.
Give less attention to anxious behavior. Experiment with using fewer words when your child is upset. Simply hug them and say, "I know you can handle this."
Model Calmness and optimism. Our children will rarely be any calmer and more confident than we are.
Avoid reinforcing avoidance behavior. Too frequently we traumatize children more by allowing them to repeatedly avoid healthy activities that can build their sense of security and self-esteem.
Allow your child to be a child. Every year, children are being pushed harder to become stars in academics, athletics, music, etc. This isn't good for kids.
Consider professional help. Because anxiety can have so many different causes, its always wise to get a professional medical opinion.
Monday, August 30, 2010
What do School Counselors DO?
I was at a National Board Meeting this weekend and during lunch, a classroom teacher asked me, "So what do you do when you are not doing Guidance activities in the classroom?"
It was then that I realized that if a Teacher doesn't know what School Counselors do... odds are, Parents and community members dont know either.
So.... in a nutshell, this is what I do.
The first two weeks I consult with parents about new behaviors they are seeing with their child and also any changes in the home (new job, lost a job, new house, death of a grandparent, marriage, divorce ect).
I also consult with Teachers about the students they have in their classroom, help them problem solve and help them to provide the best educational environment they can.
Once the frantic first two weeks pass, I have the following schedule:
Monday - I meet with the principals, see individual students, do group counseling.
Tuesday - ARD/IMPACT/504 and parent conferences
Wednesday thru Friday - Guidance activities
Everyday - Crisis intervention
Then I have an area called Universal Components... they include the following:
Career/post seconday exploration (career fair, college day, classroom guidance), Family and Community Relationships (parenting classes, Blog, PTA, Parent newsletter), Attendance (Monitoring students attendance, monday morning groups, home visits, phone calls home), Academic connections (lunch group, IMPACT, classroom guidance, data reviews).
I also prepare Guidance lessons that are developmentally appropriate for pre-k thru 5 th grade.
Whew! So.... If you were ever wondering what a School Counselor does, hopefully, this is your answer!
I love this work and I love this community!
Cheers!
It was then that I realized that if a Teacher doesn't know what School Counselors do... odds are, Parents and community members dont know either.
So.... in a nutshell, this is what I do.
The first two weeks I consult with parents about new behaviors they are seeing with their child and also any changes in the home (new job, lost a job, new house, death of a grandparent, marriage, divorce ect).
I also consult with Teachers about the students they have in their classroom, help them problem solve and help them to provide the best educational environment they can.
Once the frantic first two weeks pass, I have the following schedule:
Monday - I meet with the principals, see individual students, do group counseling.
Tuesday - ARD/IMPACT/504 and parent conferences
Wednesday thru Friday - Guidance activities
Everyday - Crisis intervention
Then I have an area called Universal Components... they include the following:
Career/post seconday exploration (career fair, college day, classroom guidance), Family and Community Relationships (parenting classes, Blog, PTA, Parent newsletter), Attendance (Monitoring students attendance, monday morning groups, home visits, phone calls home), Academic connections (lunch group, IMPACT, classroom guidance, data reviews).
I also prepare Guidance lessons that are developmentally appropriate for pre-k thru 5 th grade.
Whew! So.... If you were ever wondering what a School Counselor does, hopefully, this is your answer!
I love this work and I love this community!
Cheers!
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